Category: Parenting | Read time: 7 min
You've read the books. You've bought the tiny toilet. You've stocked up on stickers and big-kid pants. And yet, three days in, your child is weeing on the kitchen floor while making direct eye contact with you. Welcome to potty training — the parenting milestone nobody warns you is mostly about cleaning carpets.
When to Start (Hint: Not When Instagram Says)
Forget the "my child was trained at 18 months" humble brags. Most kids aren't genuinely ready until somewhere between two and three years old. Some aren't ready until closer to four. All of that is normal.
Signs of readiness include staying dry for longer stretches, showing interest in the toilet, telling you when they've done a wee or poo, being able to follow simple instructions, and wanting to wear big-kid pants. If none of these are happening, put the potty away and try again in a month. Pushing before they're ready just makes the whole process longer and more stressful for everyone.
Pick Your Method (Then Commit)
There are roughly a thousand potty training methods out there. The three-day method, the gradual method, the child-led method, the "let them run around naked" method. They all work for some kids and fail for others.
Pick one that feels right for your family and commit to it for at least a week before deciding it's not working. Switching methods every two days just confuses your child and exhausts you.
The Practical Setup
You need a potty or a toilet seat reducer — let your child choose if possible. You need a LOT of spare pants and trousers. You need cleaning supplies within arm's reach at all times. You need a waterproof mattress protector. And you need patience. Buy extra patience if you can find it.
Put the potty somewhere accessible. The bathroom is obvious, but having one in the living room during the early days reduces the "I didn't make it in time" incidents dramatically.
The First Few Days
The first few days are chaos. Accept this. Your child will have accidents. Many accidents. This is not failure. This is learning. Every accident is data — they're figuring out what that sensation means and what to do about it.
Take them to the potty regularly — every 30 to 45 minutes at first. Don't ask "Do you need to go?" because the answer is always no. Instead, say "It's potty time" and make it part of the routine.
Celebrate Success, Ignore Failure
When they use the potty, celebrate. Not a parade, but genuine enthusiasm. "You did it! Well done!" High fives. Stickers if that motivates them. Make success feel good.
When they have an accident, stay neutral. "Oops, that's okay. Let's clean up and try the potty next time." No frustration. No disappointment. No "you're a big kid now, you should know better." They're learning. Shame doesn't speed up learning — it slows it down.
Handle Regression
Your child will be doing brilliantly for a week and then suddenly have five accidents in one day. This is regression and it's completely normal. It often happens during times of change — a new sibling, starting nursery, illness, or just because toddlers are unpredictable creatures.
Don't panic. Don't go back to nappies unless things are really falling apart. Just quietly increase the potty reminders and ride it out. It usually passes within a few days.
The Poo Problem
Many kids master wees quickly but hold onto poos like they're made of gold. This is incredibly common. Pooing on the potty feels different and scary to some children. They might hide in a corner, ask for a nappy, or simply hold it in.
Don't force it. Offer the potty, encourage them, and if they're really struggling, it's okay to give them a nappy for poos temporarily while they build confidence. Constipation from holding it in is a bigger problem than a few extra weeks in nappies for number twos.
Night Training Is Separate
Daytime and nighttime dryness are different skills controlled by different developmental processes. Your child might be dry during the day for months before they're ready for nighttime. Keep them in pull-ups at night until they're consistently waking up dry. Don't rush this one.
The Honest Bit
Potty training is one of those parenting experiences that feels like it will never end while you're in it. But it does end. Every child gets there eventually. Your job isn't to be perfect at this. It's to be patient, consistent, and willing to clean up a lot of wee. Lower your expectations, raise your carpet cleaner budget, and remember: no one goes to university in nappies.
Potty training driving you mad? Ask Neady.
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